How to be Anxiety-Free: Top 10 Techniques

This is a guest post by Ryan Rivera of www.calmclinic.com

Oh my god! It is almost 12 noon and I am still stuck with this report. What will I do? I must make haste! Will I make it? Working in this pace is going to make me lose my job. I’m running out of time! Me? Fired? Oh, no! Rent’s due this Friday. What am I going to do?”

multi tasking

If this is the beat constantly playing in your work life, then I guess it is only a matter of time until this tune will beat the goodness out of you. This melody of anxiety can be quite disgruntling. The stress of trying to finish work before the deadline, the pressure of improving your work performance and the strain of meeting obligations and other responsibilities can cause extreme problems to your nerves.

Mind you. Your nerves can only handle too much. When they get smashed and thrashed all over the place with all the adrenaline and relentless worrying that you do, they will lose their functionality. This, unfortunately, will lead to the development of anxiety disorders.

If you wish to avoid this fate, here are some of the best techniques to help you cope with all the stress and anxiety surrounding you.

1. Calm down

At the first sign of anxiety, keep yourself calm. Your heart may beat so fast. Your breathing may turn difficult. Your muscles may grow tense. Your head may spin around. But never ever lose your composure. Get hold of yourself and try not to panic. The more you fret, the more you worry and the greater and more extreme the feelings of anxiety will become.

2. Take a deep breath

Deep breathing exercises are the easiest and fastest way of keeping yourself calm. When things go out of hand and time seems to be running out, pause for a while and do deep breathing. This simple exercise of filling up your lungs with air will help solve the oxygen-carbon dioxide imbalance that may cause the symptoms of anxiety.

3. Light a scented candle

Certain fragrances from your favorite scents such as lavender, chamomile, and jasmine trigger a relaxation response. Their calming whiff helps to lift your emotions. Hence, when you are feeling a little blue or tensed, light up a scented candle and fill your home with their aroma.

4. Listen to a happy song

Songs as they say are “food for the soul.” They sate the pains, sorrows, anxieties, and worries that lie beneath the core. If you are feeling tensed, putting on your favorite cd and listening to the tunes being played will help soothe your aches and pains. You can try to play songs with lively or positive beat. But it is up to you. What is important is that you enjoy the music.

5. Stretch your limbs

don't panicStrained muscles often need a little bit of stretching to loosen them up. Being slumped in work for hours can cause pressure in your back and muscles. This piled up tension can be annoying and painful at times. Practising some toe touches before you hit the sack for at least 5 minutes will help relieve those soreness and muscle cramps.

6. De-clutter

The mess and chaos of your surroundings greatly add to the anxiety you are experiencing. To trim them down, clearing the clutter from your home can essentially help to de-clutter your mind as well.

7. Ditch the coffee

This step can be a tough one. But taking this can do wonders to alleviate your anxiety. As delicious as coffee can be, you have to ditch this addiction because the caffeine it contains makes your nerves jolt, leaving you anxious from morning till noon. So, wean yourself from coffee soon. Try drinking green tea instead.

8. Visualize greenery

Your imagination is a strong tool that can help you achieve clarity and relaxation. Closing your eyes when anxiety hits and picturing a serene setting where you can escape to and become completely immersed in are effective means of leaving your anxiety out of the picture.

9. Get a massage

A good body massage does not only promote relaxation but also healthy blood circulation. With every inch of your body receiving adequate supply of oxygenated blood, your cells and nerves will be in good working condition. When they are working properly, bouts of anxieties will be prevented. Moreover, massage therapy is proven to enhance EEG pattern of alertness and math computations. So, pamper yourself. Go to a spa and get your needed massage.

10. Munch on chocolate

Chocolate acts like an amphetamine in the body. It helps to increase your mood leading to feelings of happiness, alertness and excitement.
Just take it in moderation. Eating more than enough is no longer good for the body.

To be anxiety-free takes dedication. You need to commit so that the process will be successful. You can follow these simple techniques to get started. They are proven to help resolve the worries and fears you are experiencing. Take your pick and see what works for you. The changes won’t be overnight though, but you’re on your way.

 Photos by MCCchurch and Jim Linwood on Flickr

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Mind De-Clutter: 7 Things to Stop Telling Yourself

You’re reading Mind De-Clutter: 7 Things to Stop Telling Yourself, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

“I don’t like myself. I’m crazy about myself,” said Mae West.

People tend to be too harsh on themselves, thus subconsciously fostering a negative self-image.

Many of us have that little, nagging voice in our head saying “You’re not good enough!” or “You’re never going to make it.”

These seemingly harmless insecurities slowly erode our self-esteem and confidence which can have a serious impact on the way we perceive things and cope with life’s challenges.

If you want to be happier and live a more satisfied life, cut yourself some slack.

Start being kinder to yourself.

And stop telling yourself these 7 things.

1. I’m So Stupid!

OK, there are times when the things you do turn out to not exactly be a good idea.

An inappropriate remark you made about a colleague?

Spending your last cent on those expensive, fancy shoes?

Making a really dumb business move?

Been there, done that.

You can legitimately ask yourself after any of those incidents “What the heck was I thinking?”

It’s true that certain things you do qualify as stupid, but that doesn’t mean that you are too.

And this tiny difference puts things into perspective and helps you avoid the trap of internalizing the situations in which you act daft.

In other words, you need to understand that acting stupid and being stupid are two completely different things.

This doesn’t absolve you of the blame and responsibility for your actions and give you a free pass to do whatever you please not thinking about the consequences however.

So, whenever you’re compelled to exclaim that you’re stupid for doing this or that, mind your language and say “I did something stupid.”

2. I Hate My Body

This is one of the worst things you can tell yourself.

Social media, TV and print commercials and the fashion industry are constantly raising the bar and setting unrealistic expectations when it comes to beauty standards, and it’s hard not to compare yourself to all those impossibly and yet effortlessly slender and attractive models and celebrities.

Many people are increasingly sensitive to their physical appearance, and at the same time, they’re too judgmental when it comes to their perceived imperfections.

It’s OK to strive to become the best version of yourself, but negative self-talk won’t get you very far.

Obsessing about your weight, nose, or teeth is something that can have some serious consequences on your self-esteem, so instead of standing in front of the mirror analyzing your “flabby stomach”, “big nose”, or “yellow, crooked teeth”, focus on what you like about your looks.

The trick is to take care of your body, train, eat clean, and try to improve what you can, but avoid negative qualifications.

Also, change your point of view and recognize every positive change that you notice as that will motivate you to persist.

3. I Can’t Do It

The thing is that you’re more capable than you realize.

You are most probably just too insecure and afraid of failure. And it’s this crippling fear that paralyzes you mentally and prevents you from trying.

As this belief is deeply rooted in your mind, you need to become aware of it and try to summon all your willpower in order to change it.

One way out of this blind alley is embracing failure. Once you realize that the world won’t end if you try and not succeed, a huge burden will fall off your chest, and it will be much easier to apply for that job you used to think was out of your league or ask for a raise.

Another useful thing to do is change your narrative – tell yourself “I can do it!”

At first, you’ll have to fake that sense of self-confidence, but with every seemingly impossible thing you achieve (or even fail to achieve), you’ll be able to dispel that dark cloud of fear, doubt, and insecurity.

4. My Life Sucks

Life isn’t always fair.

And this applies to everybody, not just you, even though Instagram might claim otherwise.

When you look at snaps of all those shining, happy people who don’t seem to have a single care in the world and who spend their days having fun with their equally cool friends, traveling around the globe and dining at Michelin-Star restaurants, you feel as if you’re the biggest loser ever.

Yes, the grass is always greener on the other side, and even psychology recognizes the detrimental effect social media has on our lives. Recent studies have shown that there’s a link between using social media and depression, as well as other mental health issues.

Again, focusing on the good things in your life and coming to terms that not everything can be as we’ve planned can help you break that vicious circle of despair and dissatisfaction.

It’s also a good idea to cut down on your social media time and do something that will make you feel better, such as taking a walk or going for a drink with your friends.

 5. Nobody Loves Me

Whenever you feel compelled to say this to yourself, remember that it can’t be further from the truth, because there’s always you.

And you love yourself, right?

This is something that most of us say when we’re consumed by self-pity and when we’re feeling down.

But the problem is that if you keep on telling yourself that you’re not worthy of love, you subconsciously start behaving in a manner that prevents you from meeting that someone special.

You stop going out and attending parties, not to mention that you refuse your friends’ attempts to introduce you to new people.

On top of it all, the feeling that you’re in a dark place affects your demeanor which means that you’ll be off Mr/Mrs Right’s radar.

6. I Give Up

We’re all sick and tired of everything, and that’s OK.

But if you keep on repeating these three words to yourself, they will be stuck in your head, and you’ll start believing that it’s the only option you’ve got.

Life is full of hurdles, but it’s what makes it exciting and dynamic.

Whenever you’re on the verge of waving the white flag, take a break and try to remember the times when you felt the same and when you faced a seemingly insurmountable problem.

Ask yourself how things panned out back then and you’ll realize that you managed to overcome numerous roadblocks over the course of your life.

And this one is no different, but overthinking gets the better of you.

What you should do is get some rest and take your mind off the problem for a while.

7. This Can Only Happen to Me!

Or as Adrian Mole succinctly puts it “Just my luck!”

By blaming that invisible, supernatural entity whose main task is to make your life miserable for everything bad that happens in your life, you actually give up control over your destiny and let yourself go with the flow.

Again, that fear of being responsible for a potential failure rears its ugly head and turns you into a passive observer of your own life.

But, what you need to understand is that you’re an agent of change and that you don’t have to take a backseat.

Things you say to yourself cut deeper than other people’s words, and you need to change your tune for the sake of your well-being. Remember, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.


Rebecca is a freelance translator passionate about her work, and grateful for the travels it has taken her on. She has recently started writing about some of her experiences at RoughDraft.

You’ve read Mind De-Clutter: 7 Things to Stop Telling Yourself, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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How To Know If A Relationship Is Worth Saving

How To Know If A Relationship Is Worth Saving

“Hi Celes, may I ask, how would you know if a relationship is worth saving and how would you know if it’s going nowhere? Thank you so much.” – Drizzle 🙂

Are you at a relationship crossroads? Are you wondering if your relationship with your significant other is worth saving or if it’s going nowhere?

We’ve all been there — a stage where you wonder if this relationship is right for you, whether you should fight for it or give up. When you’re constantly fighting with your SO or when you’re trying so hard to make things work out, it’s normal to doubt yourself and wonder if there is a future in this union.

While every relationship is different, here are 7 signs that your relationship is worth saving.

1) Your partner is trying to make things work

Silhouette of couple riding on bicycles

(Image: Everton Vila)

This is the number one sign you need to look for — that your partner is trying to make things work. A relationship can’t thrive if only one half of the union is doing the work. If you’re the only person who has been trying, who has been showing up for therapy, and who has been doing the work, then clearly something is wrong. Your partner needs to be on board in healing the relationship, otherwise there is no relationship to speak of.

I have a friend who used to be in a toxic relationship, and one of the clear signs that the relationship was not worth saving was the fact that her boyfriend never put in the effort to make things work. She was always the one trying to salvage the relationship while her boyfriend did nothing. If that’s you, consider if this is the kind of person you want to be with. You want to be with someone who genuinely cares for you and puts in the effort to make things work, not someone who doesn’t even blink an eye when the relationship is failing.

2) You still feel love for each other

Couple smiling at each other

(Image: NeONBRAND)

It’s easy to suggest breaking up when you’re in the middle of an argument. But ask yourself: Do you still love him/her? And does he/she love you?

If the answer is “yes” to both, then perhaps the relationship is worth saving. It’s not easy to find a relationship where the love is still there after all the struggles. Sometimes there is love at the start but it fizzles out. Sometimes there was never love from the start. If both of you still deeply love each other, cherish this love and give your relationship another chance.

3) You share similar values

Hold hands

Do you share the same values? For example, do you have a common long-term vision? Do you value the same things? Do you have the same philosophy and belief in a lot of things?

Even though you may have your differences — and that’s normal as part of any relationship — what determines the long-term potential of a relationship is whether you share the same values. When you have the same core values as your partner, you have common ground to build your future on and to build a strong, steady relationship. What you’re going through now may just be a temporary blip and if you manage to work through this problem now, you may well end up with a stronger relationship than ever.

4) There is no one else like him/her

Yellow umbrella among many umbrellas

(Image: zentilia)

You’ve met many people and there is simply no one else like him/her. Despite your differences, when you stop to think, your partner has many good things about him/her. He/she has many good qualities that you value and adore. He/she is a perfect match with you in many ways. He/she is unlike anyone you have ever met. If you let him/her go, you’re not sure if you can ever meet someone like him/her again because he/she is one in a million.

5) There is remorse for wrongdoings

Sad woman in forest, sunlight behind here

(Image: Riccardo Mion)

Maybe your partner did you wrong. Maybe he/she lied, lost his/her temper, or was unreasonable in his/her behavior. Maybe he/she cheated and saw someone behind your back.

If there is any wrongdoing, maintain a clear head and assess the situation. Firstly, is this a mistake you can forgive? Next, has he/she shown remorse for his/her behavior? Lastly, is he/she doing anything about the issue? 

Different people have different thresholds on what they can accept, and you should never stay with someone if he/she did something that you cannot forgive. But if (a) your partner is remorseful and is taking active steps about the issue, and (b) this mistake is something you can forgive, then consider giving him/her a chance. If the issue recurs, give your partner an ultimatum and let him/her know that you cannot be together if this issue persists. Give him/her a timeline to work on this issue and assess if things have improved sufficiently by the end of it.

If you’re dealing with deep-seated problems like abuse or anger management issues, seek professional help right away. Don’t attempt to deal with it alone. No matter how much you love your partner, you must always protect and take care of yourself first. Help him/her by first removing yourself from the situation, and then seek professional help. To save the relationship, you need to work on the roots of the problem.

6) You’ve been through a lot together

Silhouette of a couple holding hands, looking at sunset

(Image: Alex Iby)

Having a shared history shouldn’t be the only reason to stay together, but it is a reason to save the relationship. After all, if both of you have been through a lot in the past, chances are you have a strong understanding of each other’s likes and dislikes, how each other thinks, and how to best support each other. Such camaraderie is difficult to find without going through the same hurdles together with someone. If you and your partner have a strong history together, consider if you want to give this relationship another go.

7) Things have been improving, even if slowly

When all you do is argue non-stop with your partner, it’s easy to feel that all is lost and this relationship is a goner.

But take a step back and ask yourself: Have things been improving? Compared to when things were at their worst, have things been improving? Has your partner been listening to your feedback? Is he/she working on the issues between the both of you?

Maybe your partner has a lot of problems and it’s overwhelming you. But if things are improving, even if slowly, then consider giving him/her a chance. Sometimes things may not improve at the speed that you want, but that doesn’t mean that all is lost. Focus on the overall trajectory of the relationship instead.

What if you don’t meet the signs above?

If you don’t meet the signs above, not all is lost. These signs are really meant as a general guide. Ask yourself: Do you love your partner? Is this a relationship worth fighting for? Have you had many good moments together? If so, maybe you want to give your relationship another shot.

If your partner hasn’t been trying and if he/she keeps taking you for granted, then let go — you’re better off with someone who truly appreciates you. Check out my other article Top 12 Signs It’s Time To Move On From A Relationship.

The post How To Know If A Relationship Is Worth Saving appeared first on Personal Excellence.

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