Wanting Isn’t Deciding: How to Turn the Intention to Improve Into Action

Everybody wants to improve something. Lose the weight. Read more. Save money. Get the business going. Call your brother more often.

Wanting is easy. Wanting costs nothing.

Most of us walk around with a long list of things we want to change. And most of that list never moves. Not because we are lazy. Not because we don’t care. Because wanting and deciding are two different things.

The Gap Between Intending and Doing

Researchers have a name for this. They call it the intention-behavior gap.

Psychologist Paschal Sheeran reviewed the research and found that intentions explain only about 28 percent of what people actually end up doing. Later, Thomas Webb and Sheeran looked at experiments where people’s intentions were successfully changed. A big change in intention produced only a small-to-medium change in behavior.

In plain words: meaning to do something is a weak predictor of doing it.

You already knew that. Every January proves it.

What a Real Decision Looks Like

A wish sounds like this: “I want to get in better shape.”

A decision sounds like this: “I will walk for 20 minutes, Monday through Friday, right after I get home, before I sit down.”

See the difference? The decision answers three questions the wish never does.

What exactly? Not “get in shape.” Walk 20 minutes.

When exactly? Not “more often.” Monday through Friday, after I get home.

Where does it fit? Not “somewhere in my day.” Before I sit down.

A wish is a feeling about the future. A decision is a plan for a specific moment.

The If-Then Plan: The Most Proven Tool in the Box

Psychologist Peter Gollwitzer spent decades studying how people follow through. His answer is almost too simple. He calls it an implementation intention. Most people just call it an if-then plan.

It looks like this:

• If it is 6:30 and I am home from work, then I put on my shoes and walk.
• If I pour my morning coffee, then I read ten pages.
• If I want to check my phone during focus time, then I turn it face down and take one breath.

Why does this work? Because you make the decision ahead of time. When the moment shows up, you are not deciding anymore. You are just doing what you already decided.

This is not a motivational trick. In 2006, Gollwitzer and Sheeran pulled together 94 separate tests involving more than 8,000 people. If-then plans had a medium-to-large effect on whether people actually reached their goals. That is a big effect for something that takes 30 seconds to write down.

Five Steps From Wanting to Doing

1. Pick one thing. Not five. One. The list of everything you want to change is exactly what keeps you from changing any of it.

2. Shrink it. Make the first step so small it feels almost silly. Two pages. Ten minutes. One phone call. You can grow it later. Right now the goal is to show up.

3. Write the if-then. Name the exact moment and the exact action. Put it where you will see it. The bathroom mirror. The dashboard. The lock screen on your phone.

4. Plan for the obstacle. Ask what is most likely to stop you. Then write a second if-then for that. “If I get home late and I’m tired, then I walk for five minutes instead of twenty.” A plan with a backup survives a bad day.

5. Keep score. Put a mark on a calendar every day you follow through. Don’t break the chain. After a few weeks, you won’t be relying on the decision anymore. You’ll be relying on the habit.

When You Fall Off

You will miss a day. Everybody does.

A missed day is not a failed decision. It is information. Look at what got in the way. Adjust the plan. Start again tomorrow.

I wrote more about restarting in Getting Back on Track: Eight Ways to Rebuild Your Motivation. And if the real problem is that you keep putting the start off, read The Truth About Procrastination and Motivation.

Where This Leads

One decision, kept, becomes a habit. One habit, kept, starts to change who you think you are. That is how small choices compound over time — which I covered in The Compound Effect of Small Choices.

The Bottom Line

Wanting to improve is where everyone starts. Deciding is where the few who follow through actually begin.

Pick one thing. Name the moment. Write the if-then.

Then do it tomorrow.

Sources

• Gollwitzer, P.M., & Sheeran, P. (2006). “Implementation Intentions and Goal Achievement: A Meta-Analysis of Effects and Processes.” Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69–119. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/37367696_Implementation_Intentions_and_Goal_Achievement_A_Meta-Analysis_of_Effects_and_Processes
• Sheeran, P. (2002). “Intention–Behavior Relations: A Conceptual and Empirical Review.” European Review of Social Psychology, 12, 1–36. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/230821783_Intention-Behavior_Relations_A_Conceptual_and_Empirical_Review
• Webb, T.L., & Sheeran, P. (2006). “Does Changing Behavioral Intentions Engender Behavior Change? A Meta-Analysis of the Experimental Evidence.” Psychological Bulletin, 132(2), 249–268.