They say that aging is one of the causes that lead to the weakening of your brain’s performance. As you grow older, your memory becomes out of form, this is why there are illnesses such as the unfortunate Alzheimer’s disease. Fortunately, there are already known ways that can help you better your brain performance, thus…
A few weeks earlier, neighborhood Utah political leaders (Rep. Chris Stewart and Sen. Orrin Hatch) aided get a self-destruction avoidance bill onto President Trump’s workdesk that he signed into law. It tasks the federal government with producing a three-digit number that functions as a shortcut to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) for self-destruction and…
Throughout art history we see a culture of expanded perceptions from artists like Kandinsky, to musicians like Duke Ellington. Artist Nina Norden sees colours and shapes in association with just about everything she experiences. In fact, she can’t imagine how things can exist without a colour and a shape—she has synaesthesia and it forms the basis of her art.
There are so many leadership speakers, psychologists, spiritual guides, authors, writers and specialists that will guide and help you in finding your passion. It’s a lifelong journey they say and each person consciously or unconsciously is in constant struggle to this journey. Here are some of the popular gurus in the country which you can…
As human beings we all have certain built in limitations. For example, we can only effectively focus on a very limited number of things at any given time. I see this as a great advantage because it means that when we focus on empowering thoughts it becomes literally impossible to focus on limiting thoughts at the same time.
Can you be truly happy and extremely sad at the same time? Can you feel intense love and intense anger simultaneously? See what I mean?
We cannot intensely focus our attention in two opposing directions simultaneously. This means that when we focus on something positive, really focus on it, our mindset will automatically block out negative thoughts. That’s the nature of focus.
Because questions have the ability to change our focus, we can use them to change our feelings and our mindset at the same time. When you ask yourself, “What do I feel really great about right now?” notice what happens next. Once your current mindset becomes occupied with answering that question there is no room for entertaining opposing thoughts. Your mind simply cannot search for reasons to feel great and reasons to feel lousy at the same time.
Some people are convinced that they can entertain opposing thoughts simultaneously, but trying to do that requires a huge mental and emotional compromise. To accomplish this kind of split focus we would have to apply a very limited degree of attention in two different directions. That’s not focus! Some synonyms for the verb focus are to concentrate, fixate and pinpoint our attention. Once we understand what focus is, we realize that it does not allow for divided attention.
Being truly focused involves more than just our mental acuity. It involves our emotions as well. This is especially true because the questions we are going to be asking ourselves are anchored in positive feelings and experiences. When we ask the right questions we are commanding our mind to give us answers that will support a positive mindset and move us toward affirmative action.
Emotions are the power plant of human motivation. We can use our minds to ask the questions that will harness that power, and focus it in the direction we want to go.
When problems arise in life, as they will, what questions do we ask ourselves to create a positive mindset and motivate us toward possibility and solution? Here are a few examples…
1. How does this problem or challenge create a new opportunity? At first you may not see opportunity, so keep asking. This question is powerful because it is structured around the assumption that the problem has created an opportunity, now you just need to discover that opportunity. Your mind will recognize that assumption as fact and before long it will present you with a list of possible opportunities.
2. What action must I take to transform this situation? Notice the assumption built in to this question. There is a course of action that will transform this situation in a positive way. Now, all you need to do is to figure out what that action is and your mind will be eager to assist you. This puts you in a very positive and optimistic mindset which also makes you more resourceful.
3. What aspect of this challenge is exciting? Again the assumption, there is something here to get excited about. We just asked our mind to figure out what that is, and it will. Because of these three questions your mindset is now anchored in opportunity, transformation, and excitement.
They all have a built-in assumption that moves our focus into a ore positive mindset. They all create a frame of mind that is empowering. And because we can focus in only one direction at a time, all of these questions prevent us from exploring the negative aspects of our situation, both mentally and emotionally.
Applying these three questions in challenging situations will require a conscious effort at first. It takes time to develop a pattern of asking empowering questions, especially when our resources are being stretched by ongoing problems. With practice however, we can condition ourselves to move into a more positive mindset and to respond resourcefully by asking the right questions.
In part three of “Use Questions to Change Your Mindset” we will explore additional exercises that we can do every day to further encourage the use of empowering questions.
Can you see how potentially empowering this skill is?
Are you already using questions to direct your focus?
Did asking those questions shift your mindset?
Share your thoughts on facebook or google+
This is part 2 in a series of 3 articles about Using Questions to Change Your Mindset.
For the rest of the story visit…
Use questions to Change your Mindset – Part 1
Use questions to Change your Mindset – Part 3
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The post Use Questions to Change Your Mindset – Part 2 appeared first on Advanced Life Skills.
No person can cause you to feel second-rate with no your agreement Are you affected by very low confidence or inferiority difficult? I have to reveal some self-help recommendations on the way to conquer might produce your self-confidence. A person may have inferiority difficult since she or he thinks that there is a need to…
Indubitably, we humans are social beings, with a long history of living in bands, tribes, villages, town and cities with other people, and with a variety of social needs. But as we live and move through the social world, our priorities can change. I would even say that we evolve socially.
Studying human nature and coaching people in improving their social confidence and social skills, I came to believe that there are 3 levels of growth for us as social beings. Not all people go through all of them; in fact few people do. But ideally, one should climb all these steps, as each step upward entails social and psychological maturation for the individual, and access to a more fulfilling life.
Here are the 3 levels of growth as a social being, from the lowest to the highest:
1. Seeking Approval and Acceptance
Wanting the approval and acceptance of others is a normal human trait. Nearly all psychologists recognize it as such. Psychologist Abraham Maslow put it in the middle of his famous hierarchy of needs, higher than the need for food and shelter, but lower than the need for self-actualization.
Unfortunately, for many people, the desire for approval becomes an all encompassing need in life. They get stuck at this level, and living life here is not very nice. Almost everything they do is to please others and avoid their disapproval. They feel anxious in social settings, they can’t allow themselves to be genuine, and social interactions are a chore for them.
The solution to move past this level consists in improving their self-image and their social confidence, which will get them to care less about approval, and graduate to the next level.
If you wanna learn how to improve your social confidence and self-image effectively, I highly recommend you check out this instructional video I created, in which I’ll show you my tried, tested and proven method.
2. Seeking Authentic Relationships
Once you’ve learned to care less what others think of you, you move to another level, where the priority becomes having authentic relationships with other people. At this stage, you’re mainly interested in finding people you can naturally connect with. Because you know such connections create the most lasting and fulfilling relationships.
In social situations, you don’t fret too much about approval. Instead, you allow yourself to be yourself (although basic social rules and etiquette still apply), you’re spontaneous and you express your opinions honestly. You seek to genuinely get to know others as well, so you can find natural matches.
It’s a good level to be at. But there is one even higher.
3. Seeking Social Impact
At this level, you’re happy to have authentic relationships, but you want something more. A desire to have an impact on the world, to make your contribution, begins to emerge and to flourish. And in order to have a meaningful impact on the world, you generally need to have a meaningful impact on other people.
Thus, at this stage, you care about helping and supporting others. But you’re also concerned with engaging people in crucial conversations and changing their views, in getting them to join various causes, in motivating them to take action. Persuasion and influence become key interests for you.
An ever higher degree of social confidence is required to graduate to this level. Because in order to have a real social impact, you need to speak up, to stand up for what you believe, to be willing to disagree, to be persistent and to not avoid constructive conflicts. So again, for help with this, I invite you to check out my presentation on the steps for improving your social confidence.
Also at this level, it’s not about you anymore. It’s about you, others and the world. You’re seeing the bigger picture clearer than ever. This is something that tends to happen naturally once the need for authentic, rewarding relationships at the previous stage have been fulfilled, and as your confidence that you can do something in this world goes up.
When you’re at the first level you are operating from a position of deficit. They’re kind of in a whole. At the second level, you’ve dug yourself out of that whole, and you’re actually trying to raise something stable above ground. At the third level, you’re building your own Eiffel Tower.
I’ve had the privilege of coaching and seeing many people go through these three stages. It’s a very fulfilling experience for them to grow like that, and for me to be able to offer my support. Growth is the one constant that should exist in every person’s life, and when it comes to growth as a social being, as you can see, your attitude and confidence make the biggest difference. With these tools, you can be on your journey.
For more advice from me on improving your confidence and your social success, please join my free newsletter right now.
Make the Overt Decision: Why Saying “I’m Improving” Changes Everything There’s a surprisingly literal power in the words you use. Saying “I’m improving” converts a private hope into a public commitment, and that small linguistic switch nudges your brain to notice opportunities, prioritize resources, and tolerate temporary discomfort. The spoken decision anchors your attention. It…
Dementia affects around 450,000 Australians, and it comes in hundreds of forms. New research reveals that one form of dementia takes away the ability to daydream, and this has implications for improved care. Sleep disruption in middle age also emerges as another risk factor. And we hear how, after diagnosis, one person found a meaningful role in breaking down the stigma of dementia.
