We’re so bombarded by our mobile devices that our ability to pay attention is declining—and extensive research on leadership shows a crisis of engagement in the workforce. Leaders are not satisfying their employees’ needs to find engagement in what they do. Hear about the three most important qualities a leader needs to help solve the crisis.
The Ways in Which Shyness Affects You, Based on Your Personality Type Shyness is something which introverts and extroverts can both experience, and isn’t simply tied to those who keep to themselves or are drained by too much interaction. There are plenty of shy extroverts, or outgoing introverts, and so these qualities are not mutually […]
The post The Ways in Which Shyness Affects You, Based on Your Personality Type appeared first on Personality Growth.
If you’ve ever been depressed you may have wondered—is this the real me? And if anti-depressants work for you, do they get you back in touch with who you really are or make you feel more inauthentic? The findings from a University of Cambridge study suggest that how authentic you feel when being treated for depression may be relevant to your recovery.
Critical comments by others are impossible to avoid. How we deal with them, however, is entirely up to us. Keys to Processing Critical Comments By Karen Ulvestad Words carry power and affect our day-to-day life. The challenge lies in acknowledging the words without internalizing them. Often, harsh and critical comments and words are behavior related as observed by another person. It’s our job to know the difference and grow from the experience. It’s easy to internalize critical comments made by other people and think it’s about our personality. There is a difference between behavior and the self. The self is our true essence. All the lessons from the behavior we have experienced in our lives, and other people’s issues we hang onto. The truth is that it is a challenge to recognize the difference between a behavior related issue or “self” issues when we don’t know any difference between the two. The more self-aware we become, the easier this is to see in an interaction with another person. Several steps can be used to differentiate between behavior issues and self. Processing Critical Comments Key #1 – Knowing Self Knowing one’s self is the best way to change the effects of critical or harsh words. It’s the process of knowing our true essence is not what other people see. They see us through their filters and biases. The words are a reflection of what they feel about themselves, not us. When we know our self, we tap into the Universal Life force energies and know that we are part of everything. Our view changes, hence we change our “reaction” to the words of others. We see others as their entities, it becomes easier to look at their words, and we internalize less of the negativity. Processing Critical…
Embarrassment, guilt, or remorse are difficult emotions and most of us avoid. These excruciating shameful feelings are often masked by addiction, self-loathing or narcissism, but shame can also help uphold societal values, and even help build our self-esteem
This purpose of this article is to show couples how to deal with uncertainties and insecurities in their romantic relationship. This piece considers research studies that talk about how insecurities can trigger problems in an otherwise healthy relationship. Further cited research shows couples how to build trust and the important role that oxytocin plays in increasing trust between partners. Communication, comparisons to past relationships, and changing one’s perspective are also touched on in this article. How To Deal With Uncertainty And Insecurity In A Relationship By Sylvia Smith Relationship uncertainty is an unpleasant feeling to have when trying to pursue something serious with a partner. If an individual is feeling uncertain or insecure about their partner, it could mean they don’t fully trust their spouse. It may also be a sign that they are feeling anxious about where the relationship is going. Or it could mean nothing at all. Insecurity can spring from past relationships or from seemingly nowhere at all. Even if a person believes they’ve found the person they want to spend the rest of their life with, insecurities can trigger doubt and create problems in a once healthy relationship Entering a new relationship should be an exciting, happy time in a person’s life. But for those who have had bad romantic experiences in the past, starting over can be a stressful experience. How Uncertainty Ruins Healthy Relationships When an individual is experiencing uncertainty or insecurity in their relationship it can quickly create disharmony between partners. To begin with, not knowing where the relationship is going creates a lack of accountability between spouses. Can they trust that their partner is being faithful? If one were to lose their job, could they rely on their spouse to help carry the load? Without knowing how each partner feels about…
Self confidence is so important. It could be the difference between getting a new job or having a successful relationship. A lack of self confidence could stop you from grabbing opportunities or feeling like your worth knowing as a friend. […]
The post 10 Tips For Improving Self-Confidence appeared first on NotSalmon.
Indubitably, we humans are social beings, with a long history of living in bands, tribes, villages, town and cities with other people, and with a variety of social needs. But as we live and move through the social world, our priorities can change. I would even say that we evolve socially.
Studying human nature and coaching people in improving their social confidence and social skills, I came to believe that there are 3 levels of growth for us as social beings. Not all people go through all of them; in fact few people do. But ideally, one should climb all these steps, as each step upward entails social and psychological maturation for the individual, and access to a more fulfilling life.
Here are the 3 levels of growth as a social being, from the lowest to the highest:
1. Seeking Approval and Acceptance
Wanting the approval and acceptance of others is a normal human trait. Nearly all psychologists recognize it as such. Psychologist Abraham Maslow put it in the middle of his famous hierarchy of needs, higher than the need for food and shelter, but lower than the need for self-actualization.
Unfortunately, for many people, the desire for approval becomes an all encompassing need in life. They get stuck at this level, and living life here is not very nice. Almost everything they do is to please others and avoid their disapproval. They feel anxious in social settings, they can’t allow themselves to be genuine, and social interactions are a chore for them.
The solution to move past this level consists in improving their self-image and their social confidence, which will get them to care less about approval, and graduate to the next level.
If you wanna learn how to improve your social confidence and self-image effectively, I highly recommend you check out this instructional video I created, in which I’ll show you my tried, tested and proven method.
2. Seeking Authentic Relationships
Once you’ve learned to care less what others think of you, you move to another level, where the priority becomes having authentic relationships with other people. At this stage, you’re mainly interested in finding people you can naturally connect with. Because you know such connections create the most lasting and fulfilling relationships.
In social situations, you don’t fret too much about approval. Instead, you allow yourself to be yourself (although basic social rules and etiquette still apply), you’re spontaneous and you express your opinions honestly. You seek to genuinely get to know others as well, so you can find natural matches.
It’s a good level to be at. But there is one even higher.
3. Seeking Social Impact
At this level, you’re happy to have authentic relationships, but you want something more. A desire to have an impact on the world, to make your contribution, begins to emerge and to flourish. And in order to have a meaningful impact on the world, you generally need to have a meaningful impact on other people.
Thus, at this stage, you care about helping and supporting others. But you’re also concerned with engaging people in crucial conversations and changing their views, in getting them to join various causes, in motivating them to take action. Persuasion and influence become key interests for you.
An ever higher degree of social confidence is required to graduate to this level. Because in order to have a real social impact, you need to speak up, to stand up for what you believe, to be willing to disagree, to be persistent and to not avoid constructive conflicts. So again, for help with this, I invite you to check out my presentation on the steps for improving your social confidence.
Also at this level, it’s not about you anymore. It’s about you, others and the world. You’re seeing the bigger picture clearer than ever. This is something that tends to happen naturally once the need for authentic, rewarding relationships at the previous stage have been fulfilled, and as your confidence that you can do something in this world goes up.
When you’re at the first level you are operating from a position of deficit. They’re kind of in a whole. At the second level, you’ve dug yourself out of that whole, and you’re actually trying to raise something stable above ground. At the third level, you’re building your own Eiffel Tower.
I’ve had the privilege of coaching and seeing many people go through these three stages. It’s a very fulfilling experience for them to grow like that, and for me to be able to offer my support. Growth is the one constant that should exist in every person’s life, and when it comes to growth as a social being, as you can see, your attitude and confidence make the biggest difference. With these tools, you can be on your journey.
For more advice from me on improving your confidence and your social success, please join my free newsletter right now.
Self-confidence is the faith in the capabilities in carrying out the ambition. Generally, this self-confidence is boosted with your familiarity with diverse actions. The indispensable role of any person is the self-confidence. A person with sufficient self-confidence will absolutely attain the personal and proficient goals. If there is an adequate self-confidence then there will be […]
The post Steps to Become Self-confident! appeared first on Self Help Zone.
This blog has many tips on how to build self confidence. I wrote a post 20 ways to build self confidence some time back. I now find there is even a video based on an article I discussed in that post!
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLAogkva-Ok?rel=0]
My main criticism remains – walking faster and sitting in the front row are rather weird suggestions and hardly likely to have the desired effect. If you lack self confidence you will feel very self conscious sitting in the front and feel worse. There is no guarantee you will eventually get over that and feel more confident.
Feeling the fear and doing it anyway – as in Susan Jeffers book title – doesn’t work for everyone. If you go along this route its about coming to terms that we have learnt to feel fear and associate it with that activity. And, unless you are short sighted or hard of hearing, what actually do you achieve by sitting in the front?
Ironically the video misses the best tip in the original article – having gratitude:-
When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum.
gratitude for having family
This is something I do everyday in a form of journalling. The first step I take is to reflect upon what I have to be grateful for. This can vary from family and friends to aspects of the environment around me – the sea, forest, the crazy weather we have (can’t remember who said it, but “never judge the day by the weather…”).
This list doesn’t have to be big things, and it certainly doesn’t have to be unique. You’ll end it constantly repeating things like your good health and the men, women and children in your life. But don’t forget the little stuff or more obscure – being able to hear the birds sing, being able to walk/see/taste/smell, living in a country where I can voice my opinion/vote, watching a comedy show on TV last night.
Even the things we moan about, such as expensive car bills, can be turned into gratitude – at least you can afford a car. Reminds me of a favourite quote:-
I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.
