Category: Brain

The last two articles in this series have helped us build a solid appreciation for the value of using questions to change both our focus and our mindset. We also learned exactly what kind of questions are needed to channel our focus in a positive direction. Now it’s time to consider some specific ways that we can make practical application of this empowering skill and put it to use in our lives.

To fully benefit from the power of questions we need a way to integrate what we have learned into our daily routine. Specifically, we need to develop the habit of intentionally using questions to direct our focus and control our mindset in a constructive manner.

Start with your morning mindset

Every morning when you wake up it is a natural part of your thinking process to ask yourself questions about the upcoming day. So, this is a perfect opportunity to influence your mindset in a positive way. Asking the right questions first thing in the morning will help ensure that your focus is pointed in a productive and empowering direction all day long.

So here’s a list of possible questions that you can start asking yourself every morning beginning tomorrow. These questions are specifically designed to have a positive effect on your mindset, especially your levels of joy, commitment and self-esteem.

1) What is there about my life that makes me feel happy right now?
2) What is going on in my life today that I can get excited about?
3) What do I feel truly grateful for right now?
4) What am I really looking forward to today?
5) Who do I love and who loves me?

If you have difficulty answering any of these questions simply insert the word “could” into the question. For example, in question #1 – What is there about my life that could make me feel happy right now?

Take some time to consider these questions as you go about your morning routine. Remember, it’s not the asking of questions that shifts your mindset, it’s the answers. As you come up with your own answers to each question, be sure to take a moment and experience how that answer makes you feel.

Do it every day for at least ten days!

By developing a routine of asking yourself questions like these every morning, you will begin to create a pattern. After a while, not only will the questions come automatically, but so will an increased level of appreciation for the answers. The answers to these questions are an important part of what makes life worth living and creating a positive shift in your focus regarding those answers will also shift your predominant mindset.

Being aware of your blessings first thing in the morning can completely change your entire day. Those questions will follow you throughout the day and you will find yourself looking for more reasons to feel happy, to get excited and to be grateful. This is a perfect example of the power of simple questions to shift your mindset, change your focus, increase your motivation, and make you feel good about your life.

Remember, the whole purpose of this exercise is to shift your mindset by taking conscious control of what you allow your mind to focus on. So another important point to consider is this: These questions are designed to trigger your mind to think in positive directions and to discover encouraging answers. They are not designed for overanalyzing and scrutinizing your every thought and feeling.

So don’t let yourself get too carried away. Know when to quit asking and start answering.

When designing questions always include a positive assumption

When you are designing questions for yourself, make sure that they always include a positive assumption about the answer. For example, all of the questions above assume something. Question #1 assumes that there is something to feel happy about right now just as question #2 assumes there is something to be excited about. These type of assumptions give your mind both direction and motivation.

The mind considers those assumptions to be facts; consequently it will find answers that support those facts. By constructing your own personal questions this way you will empower yourself with the ability to shift your mindset at will and to change almost any aspect of your life.

How do you feel about the power of questions now?
Have you found the information in these articles useful?
Do you think questions can change your mindset?
Share your thoughts on facebook or google+

This is part 3 in a series of 3 articles about Using Questions to Change Your Mindset.
For the rest of the story visit…
Use questions to Change your Mindset – Part 1
Use questions to Change your Mindset – Part 2

If you enjoyed this article consider email updates!

The post Use Questions to Change Your Mindset – Part 3 appeared first on Advanced Life Skills.

I’m forever coming across short articles or blog posts with seemingly useful tips.  But can such brief tidbits of information really do any good. For instance, with this article will any of the tips really “boost” you self esteem?

7 Practical Tips For Boosting Your Self-Esteem

by Ricky P O’ Shea

Having healthy self-esteem is the building blocks for happy, vibrant living. It means you have confidence in yourself and your abilities whereas as having low self-esteem can mean you lack confidence in yourself and never reach your true potential.

The good news is that if your self-esteem could do with a boost then there are small changes that can make a big difference. It all starts with reprogramming your beliefs and weeding out the negative inner-dialogue. To help you get started, consider the following tips for boosting your self-esteem.

Selective ignorance

The feedback and solicitations from others can greatly impact your own state of being. Choose to source your information wisely, limiting negative media in place of more positive media such as seminars or educational activities. Surround yourself with others who are positive and bring out the best in you and avoid allowing the negativity of others to affect your own judgement.

Comfort Zone

If we don’t push ourselves outside of our comfort zones then we have nothing to build on. You’d be surprised what you can achieve if you put your mind to it so take the plunge once in a while and take on new challenges. In doing so you’ll naturally grow in confidence and give your self-esteem a much-needed boost.

Negative Inner-Dialogue

Our inner-dialogue greatly influences our reality! If your inner-dialogue and thought patterns are generally negative then your self-esteem is bound to be lower. Weed out any negative thought patterns such as “I can’t” or “I’m not good enough” and replace them with positive ones instead.

Positive Affirmations

Affirmations are extremely effective for overcoming limiting beliefs. By repeatedly stating something to yourself you can slowly empower yourself with positive thoughts and beliefs. You can find many resources for affirmations online but the real key is to make them present tense, positive and stating an outcome you desire.

Stop Comparing

Media and society in general has a knack at making us feel we need to fit in. However, this simply isn’t true! We are each unique and each have our own set of strengths and weaknesses. Avoid feeling inadequate by comparing your weaknesses against others and focus instead on developing your strengths.

Accept Compliments

It’s easy to assume someone is lying or has ulterior motives when you’re passed a compliment but more often than not it’s genuine. Learn to accept compliments gracefully in order to strengthen your confidence. It will also help you to discover what you’re good at so you can further develop your strengths.

Reward Yourself

We often neglect to acknowledge our achievements and pass them off as something not worth gloating about. But, your achievements, no matter how trivial they seem, should be rewarded. It’s important to remind yourself that you’re a valued person and that you deserve to be rewarded and acknowledged for your achievements.

Wrapping It Up

In this article we’ve covered a few simple but effective ways to boost your self-esteem. Most important of all is reprogramming your beliefs and inner-dialogue. If you weed out the self-limiting thought patterns and replace with positive statements your self-esteem will naturally grow.

Facing a particularly traumatic phase in your life?

If so,then try these 3 painless strategies for overcoming low self-esteem during trying times.

http://path-to-happiness.com/confidence/self-esteem/how-to-overcome-low-self-esteem/

Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Simple huh! Unfortunately “reprogramming your beliefs and inner-dialogue” isn’t that simple. Learning to accept compliments and rewarding yourself are good habits to get into and over the long term will help. I’m a great believer in stepping outside your comfort zone, but this is more of a benefit for self confidence rather than self esteem. I’m not sure how realist this “surrounding yourself” with positive people is, and there is eveidence that positive affirmations can be counter productive.

http://www.inc.com/empact/bill-gates-warren-buffett-and-oprah-all-use-the-5-hour-rule.html

The author of this article states “Many of these leaders, despite being extremely busy, set aside at least an hour a day (or five hours a week) over their entire career for activities that could be classified as deliberate practice or learning.”
Is this what you do? She goes on to reflect that this “learning” can be subdivided into:-
(1) Read
(2) Reflect
(3) Experiment

Do you think this is useful?

photo by Claudio Toledo on Flickr

Huge strides in patient care and medical treatments became possible after more hospitals began adopting electronic medical records. The benefits of comprehensive electronic health records are particularly helpful in surgery, where every piece of data—laboratory test results, vital sign records, and previous medical treatments—help surgeons improve patient care. Electronic health records don’t necessarily need to […]

The post How Technological Breakthroughs are Transforming Medicine appeared first on Self Help Zone.

Everybody wants a meaningful and lasting relationship. So, why does there seem to be such a scarcity of great relationships these days? Is there some way that we could be better prepared before we take a big relationship plunge?

While every relationship has its own unique complexities, I believe that what we bring into a relationship emotionally is crucial to the success of that relationship. Too many people make a commitment to another person without being emotionally aligned with the reality of that commitment. They are still thinking like an individual instead of a couple.

When one becomes two it’s time for an upgrade

When we decide to settle down in a relationship, we need to change the way we think.  We need a different kind of internal program if we want to enjoy all the benefits of a relationship that can go the distance. When we are single, it’s easy to be centered on ourselves because we live in a simpler, more singular world.  Function on that singular level is not very complicated.

To be part of a lasting and supportive relationship, we need to expand our thinking because life gets a bit more complicated and requires a program with greater capacity. That means it’s time for an upgrade. To succeed in a relationship, we need to reprogram the way we think about life. If we do it right then life gets better, more meaningful and rewarding.

Out with the old, in with the new

Anytime we raise the bar of expectations in any area of our lives, we need to upgrade our internal programming.  Those who choose to stubbornly stick to their old way of thinking can’t experience meaningful growth.

If we want to accomplish something extraordinary, like a truly successful relationship, the place to start is internally.  Our old way of thinking got us where we are, and that was what it was designed to do.  But now we are ready to move on, to grow and expand our world and reach out for more.

Know what you want

When a computer programmer decides to create a new program he always has a reason, an objective.  Programs are designed for very specific purposes.  If the programmer doesn’t understand what he is trying to accomplish, how can he design the right program? Likewise, before we can change our thinking, we need to have a clear understanding of what we intend to accomplish, and why.

Let’s go back to our single person who wants to build a relationship.  For the sake of discussion, let’s just say he’s a single guy who has enjoyed living on his own for the past five years. Now he’s met someone really special and as the relationship grows he wants to take it to the next level.

The relationship shift

Now his internal focus has shifted to include another person and his mental reference point has changed from me to we. At this point his life needs to be played by a completely different set of rules because he has a whole new point of reference.

Including another person in your life means changing the way you think about everything.  It’s your life times two and then some, which means it’s at least twice as complicated.  We won’t even talk about what happens when you bring children to the mix. So why do it?  Why purposely complicate your life? Because you know that it has the potential to be at least twice as rewarding and enjoyable. You know it and you want it.

A real relationship needs a serious commitment

Here’s a chapter from my own life. I didn’t get married until I was in my thirties, and the reason for that is – I only wanted to do it once and I wanted to make sure that I did it right.  My dad had drilled it into my head as a kid, “don’t make promises you can’t keep.”  I knew that marriage would be one of the most serious promises I would ever make, and I wanted to be sure that I could keep my word.

So I waited.  I waited until I met somebody I knew I could not live without.  Obviously, I wanted it to work.  Realizing that there are certain things that can quietly undermine a marriage, I wanted to make sure that these things were handled before I made a major commitment to our relationship.

Leave the baggage behind

One of the subtleties that will unravel the fabric of a relationship is when someone carries a fantasy about a past flame. I’d seen it happen to other marriages, and I wasn’t about to let it happen to mine.  So I did a little self-examination to see if I was harboring any fantasies of this sort.  I made sure that each memory of past relationships included complete closure.

For a single person, perhaps such fantasies aren’t considered harmful.  But they can spell disaster for a marriage because every time there’s a disagreement you can escape into the fantasy of “what if.”  This may seem like a small change and obviously there were others that needed to be made as well.  But 27 years later, here I am, still married to the same, wonderful woman.

Channel your emotional power

So, why was I motivated to do this self-examination and to root out any little problems that I found?  Because my emotions were fully engaged and I was highly motivated to make whatever changes were necessary.  I knew that I wanted to build a  relationship that could go the distance, and I wasn’t about to let anything stand in my way.

In this crazy world, a truly meaningful relationship really is an extraordinary thing.  If that’s the kind of relationship that you want, then you need to be willing to upgrade the thinking that drives your behavior. You need to program yourself for a relationship that will bring genuine joy and meaning to your life.

How well is your internal relationship program serving you?
What do you think is the most important quality in a relationship?
Share your thoughts on facebook or google+

If you enjoyed this article consider email updates!

The post How to Program Yourself for an Amazing Relationship appeared first on Advanced Life Skills.

Finding the motivation to go out and grab the things that you want out of life is so hard sometimes. But if you can’t find your motivation, you’re never going to be able to achieve your dreams and live a […]

The post 4 Reasons Why You Can’t Stay Motivated appeared first on NotSalmon.

Are you wondering how to build trust in your relationship? Maybe you feel as though you’ve hit a wall; there’s more to learn about someone you care about, but something is blocking your access to his or her deepest self. Maybe someone you love has been through some rough times with other relationships. Trusting others […]

The post 11 Of The Best Ways To Build Trust In A Relationship appeared first on Live Bold and Bloom.

Have you ever taken a relationship compatibility test? Maybe you ran across one online and wondered, “How could any test tell me whether or not my spouse/partner/crush and I are compatible? What do they look for?” A compatibility test for couples might look at any of these factors: Personalities (using the MBTI or other classifications) […]

The post Relationship Compatibility Test: Are Your Personalities A Love Match? appeared first on Live Bold and Bloom.

Have you heard about the biggest new trend for longevity? Intermittent fasting. (The following is an excerpt from my bestselling book: “Life is Long: 50+ ways to live a little closer to forever.”) An abundance of research suggests that “intermittent […]

The post The Biggest New Diet Trend for Longevity: Intermittent fasting appeared first on NotSalmon.

A lot of people wanna be cool, and even more people want at least to appear cool to others. This is probably why much of the self-help advice out there focuses on how to adopt the external demeanor of a cool person, in order to create the perception of being cool.

It’s not an entirely bad strategy; a “fake it till you make it” approach can work sometimes, in some situations. However, there are some serious problems with trying to look cool, which I’ve discovered both through my own experience and those of my communication coaching clients.

So I wanna talk about these problems, and provide a much better alternative to trying to look cool. The major problems are three in number:

1. Improper Social Calibration

Successfully appearing cool is not only about adopting a set of edgy behaviors; it’s also about using them at the right time and at the right intensity. These behaviors need to be properly calibrated to the social situation you’re in. And if they don’t come from the inside, good social calibration is very hard to pull off.

It’s very common for men and women trying to look cool to go over the top with some actions and gestures. For example, many guys read online that, in order to look cool or “alpha”, they should take up a lot of space, especially when sitting down. But they’ll seriously overdo it. That’s how you’ll see some guy at a party, stretching on a sofa like a pancake, taking up three spots, and thinking he’s being cool. He’s not being cool; most likely he just looks like a weirdo.

2. Behavioral Leakage

Behavioral leakage is a very interesting psychological concept, which says that if you try to act out of character, your true character and emotional state will tend to come out in subtle ways. They will leak out, and do so repeatedly, despite your desire to repress them.

For instance, during a conversation with a member of the opposite sex, maybe you act confident and cool, and maybe they buy it for a few minutes. But at some point they make a teasing remark about you (maybe comment on your beer belly or something), and for a few seconds, your true insecure self involuntarily comes out. It can be something subtle like breaking eye contact, fidgeting, or nervous laughter. Either way, the person will probably tell that you’re actually not as confident as you initially seemed. Even if you get back into your act really fast, your insecurity has leaked out.

3. The High Energy Drain

Since trying to appear cool through deliberate actions entails playing a role, it will be very demanding on your mental and physical energy. It’s hard to keep up an act, even for a short while. Many of my coaching clients have shared with me that when they were acting out of character, even a 45-minute conversation with another person for a coffee was exhausting.

Since the energy drain of trying to look cool is high, it means you can’t keep up the act for too long. Eventually, the large part of your real self will come out with bells and whistles, especially as you interact repeatedly with someone and you end up having longer interactions. And even if you can keep up the act, it takes all the fun out of socializing.

So, due to improper calibration, behavioral leakage and the high energy drain, trying to appear cool to others is not a good strategy. What’s the alternative then? There is a very good one, which takes more time, but has a huge return on investment.

Develop the Mental State of Cool

Our mental state influences our behavior to a large degree. People who naturally behave and look cool do so because they are in a mental state conducive to that, which I call the mental state of cool.

What does this state imply? First and foremost, I’d say it implies feeling confident and composed in social situations. That’s the main thing. It also involves liking yourself and having a positive self-image, which relates closely to social confidence. And it’s also about feeling okay being yourself and expressing your unique side in social settings, while at the same time seeking to stay connected to other people’s needs.

When you have this kind of a mix of attitudes, your social behavior simply oozes cool. And it’s not the kind of superficial cool that comes with having the latest fashionable smartphone; it’s the kind of meaningful cool reflected in a centered, expressive and appealing demeanor.

Developing the mental state of cool does not happen overnight. It takes some time, and perhaps some guidance. You need to work on your beliefs system and automatic emotional reactions to reach a perpetual mental state of cool. But it is definitely worth it; because actually being cool is 100 times better than just pretending to be cool.

I’ve been helping people develop their social confidence and the state of cool for almost a decade now. If you wanna learn how to do it, I encourage you to check out right now this instructional video I created, in which I’ll share with you some of my top psychology advice for building social confidence and becoming a cool, charismatic person.

Also, join my free social success newsletter, where I share regularly tried and tested techniques for improving your confidence and your social skills.

Personal development usually works best from the inside out. Build your social confidence, learn how to manage your mental state in social situations, and the right behavior and right results will follow naturally.