This purpose of this article is to show couples how to deal with uncertainties and insecurities in their romantic relationship. This piece considers research studies that talk about how insecurities can trigger problems in an otherwise healthy relationship. Further cited research shows couples how to build trust and the important role that oxytocin plays in increasing trust between partners. Communication, comparisons to past relationships, and changing one’s perspective are also touched on in this article. How To Deal With Uncertainty And Insecurity In A Relationship By Sylvia Smith Relationship uncertainty is an unpleasant feeling to have when trying to pursue something serious with a partner. If an individual is feeling uncertain or insecure about their partner, it could mean they don’t fully trust their spouse. It may also be a sign that they are feeling anxious about where the relationship is going. Or it could mean nothing at all. Insecurity can spring from past relationships or from seemingly nowhere at all. Even if a person believes they’ve found the person they want to spend the rest of their life with, insecurities can trigger doubt and create problems in a once healthy relationship Entering a new relationship should be an exciting, happy time in a person’s life. But for those who have had bad romantic experiences in the past, starting over can be a stressful experience. How Uncertainty Ruins Healthy Relationships When an individual is experiencing uncertainty or insecurity in their relationship it can quickly create disharmony between partners. To begin with, not knowing where the relationship is going creates a lack of accountability between spouses. Can they trust that their partner is being faithful? If one were to lose their job, could they rely on their spouse to help carry the load? Without knowing how each partner feels about…
How does one go about trying to persuade others to awaken their spirit, and to pursue enlightenment – if those that one wishes to help are too stubborn and egotistical to allow themselves to be helped?
There are few mysteries in the universe more confounding than that of dark matter and dark energy. In fact, most cosmologists don’t even like those terms because they imply a property—darkness—to forces which scientists can’t observe. All humans can currently observe of dark matter is the profound gravitational influence it exerts on surrounding matter.
All we can observe of dark energy is that it is accelerating the rate at which the universe expands, so much so that someday in the distant future galaxies will be completely isolated from each other. Future scientists may think that our Milky Way and its local galaxy cluster are the only galaxies in the entire universe.
Combined dark matter and dark energy occupy 96% of the universe yet scientists have no idea what these forces are and without them, humans likely would not exist. If it weren’t for dark matter, galaxies wouldn’t exist because none of the matter would coalesce. Without dark energy unfolding at the exact rate it did, it’s unlikely the evolution of the universe would have supported life.
Theories about the true nature of dark energy run the spectrum of scientific ideology, ranging from a fifth fundamental force (in addition to gravity, electromagnetism, weak force, and strong force) and exotic anti-gravitational particles to a “quintessent” energy field that arises during different epochs of the universe and “tampers” with the laws of physics.
This theory of “quintessence” received an extra boost from a new hypothesis that posits that when the universe was only 100,000 years-old, an “early dark energy” field formed, accelerating the early universe and then disappearing another 100,000 years later. The new theory seeks to try to explain the 9% discrepancy in the expansion of the universe with the idea of periodic fields of dark energy.
Dennis Overbye, part of a team of astronomers from Johns Hopkins University, described this energy force as “a buzzing, expanding mass of particles and radiation—a strange new energy field switched on. That energy suffused space with a kind of cosmic antigravity, delivering a not-so-gentle boost to the expansion of the universe.”
This theory would explain a third infusion of a nebulous energy force in the universe. The first happened soon after the Big Bang, when the universe was less than a trillionth of a second old and a tiny micro-second of “inflation” violently expanded the universe and allowed for order in the cosmos. The second known period of a mysterious propulsive force in the universe is right now. Galaxies are accelerating away from each other faster and faster—and scientists don’t know why.
The debate over dark energy has raged within the scientific community but astronomers are still no closer to explaining it. That hasn’t stopped a proliferation of theories to account for it: non-baryonic sub-atomic particles destroying themselves and releasing energy; a manifestation of a pervasive symmetron field similar to the Higgs Field; a universal “dark fluid” that combines both dark matter and dark energy and represents “negative gravity”; evidence of the exotic energy fields predicted by “String Theory”; and even evidence of a multiverse.
Theories of the multiverse posit that a near infinite number of universes are simultaneously evolving. Perhaps in the majority of these, dark energy accelerates the fabric of space-time too quickly or not enough and the universe is destroyed and we just happen to exist in the one anthropically attuned to life.
Essentially, there are two camps: those who believe dark energy represents a cosmological constant and those that don’t. Previously, the cosmological constant theory—an unexpected throwback to what Einstein referred to as his “biggest blunder”—had the most support, even if the math didn’t exactly support it.
Newer fringe theories have even suggested that advanced extraterrestrial life could be involved. Some astronomers consider whether dark matter and dark energy may constitute “a living state that manipulates luminous matter for its own purposes.” In a stunning article, Caleb Scharf, a research scientist at Columbia University and director of the Columbia Astrobiology Center, postulates the idea that certain laws of nature and physics may be embedded with alien intelligence.
“It’s a great mind-bending twist. Perhaps hyper-advanced life isn’t just external. Perhaps it’s already all around. It is embedded in what we perceive to be physics itself, from the root behavior of particles and fields to the phenomena of complexity and emergence,” says Scharf. “What we think might be the effects of mysterious forces such as dark energy and dark matter in the Universe, could actually be the influence of alien intelligence–or maybe even aliens themselves.”
While most astronomers veer away from such exotic, and probably unprovable explanations, it’s certainly the case that a general sense of frustration has set in among scientists who have, for years, looked closely at dark energy. They are no closer to understanding it now than they were when it was discovered in the late 90s.
“At what point do we claim the discovery of new physics?” asked one theorist, Josh Frieman.
Whether it’s sending a passive-aggressive email to a coworker, or not speaking up when you have a great idea, or even saying something rude when you should have said nothing at all, we’ve all made decisions we regret—and then tortured ourselves by thinking, “What if I’d made a different choice?” That’s where mindfulness comes in.
When we practice tuning in to the chatter of our minds and sweeping sensations of our bodies, and we learn seperate those triggers from the deep well of knowledge that is our innate awareness. By practicing mindfulness we slowly give ourselves permission to choose how we respond in the world. It’s pretty powerful stuff.
In this Big Think video, former Canadian intelligence officer Shane Parrish, creator of the website and learning community Farnam Street, shares three tips for making more mindful decisions:
1) Don’t make a decision when you’re excited or frazzled
Many of us are guilty of making decisions in the heat of the moment—during a fight with our partner, in the middle of a stressful work meeting, or even when you’re over-excited. But Parrish says making decisions when we’re heated increases our chances of making the wrong choice.
“Our emotions spike, and that’s a signal to us that something’s wrong, or something is important to us,” he says. That’s a signal to pause. “We’ll do these things in the moment because we’re emotional, and then we sort of regret it.”
The next time you find yourself faced with a big decision while you’re caught up in the emotions of if all (whether that be intense joy and excitement, or anger and frustration), Parrish recommends placing some space between yourself and whatever it is that has you excited by going for a walk, or giving yourself the night to sleep on it. Doing so helps defuse high emotions, so you can calmly consider how you really feel.
“What I often do is I mentally decide, ‘Here’s my decision, now I’m going to sleep on it,’” Parrish says. “And then I’ll wake up in the morning and be like, how do I feel about that decision? Because I’ll trick myself into having made it. And if I have regrets, that’s a sign that I might want to think about that problem a lot more.”
2) Be aware of confirmation bias
Sometimes, we tell ourselves we are making a rational decision by taking the time to consider all options—but really, we only look at the information that confirms what we already believe.
Sometimes, we tell ourselves we are making a rational decision by taking the time to consider all options—but really, we only look at the information that confirms what we already believe.
“Our ego doesn’t often let this [other] information in, it doesn’t process it,” Parrish says.
To ensure we’re getting the full picture, Parrish recommends keeping a journal for a few days and making a note each time we discover something that opposes our own belief. Seeing all of the information in writing can help us make a more informed and well-rounded decision.
“Every time that something disconfirms with something that we think or we believe, that’s an opportunity to learn,” Parrish says. “Maybe they’re right, maybe they’re not. But to dismiss it out of hand without evaluating it is not doing ourselves justice towards outcomes.”
Pulitzer prize nominee, and bestselling author of Emotional Intelligence and Healing Emotions, Daniel Goleman recommends you check in on these five emotional intelligence competencies that help a leaders take the broad view and uncover their biases.
3) Be confident, not cocky
You know that feeling of invincibility you get right before you do something you know you’re good at, only to find yourself in a cold sweat and not quite as prepared as you thought you were? That’s overconfidence. And while it may be harmless enough on a Friday night out with friends, it can cause serious damage when it influences decisions about your relationships or career.
“We take outsized risks. We believe that we have information that other people don’t have, which causes us to be overconfident, to do things that we otherwise wouldn’t do,” Parrish explains.
Pausing to recall a time you failed is one way to humble yourself. Another is to simply run your idea by another person, and ask them for their honest opinion.
“And once you start honing in on that, that’s an opportunity for learning,” Parrish says.
Of course, you don’t want to feel insecure and uncertain about everything you decide. But pausing to make sure you have all of the information before you jump head-first into a big decision, allowing time for your essential knowledge to bubble up, can help you be even more confident you’ve made the right choice.
As fast-paced and crazy as the world is today, it is easy to find ourselves overwhelmed. Are You Being Overwhelmed? Is the world around us getting to be too much to handle? You only have to watch television or read the many feeds on social media to see that there’s so much going on around the world. Extreme weather conditions, drama in politics, people losing their lives from many different reasons, homes being destroyed by fires or nature taking a turn for the worse. It seems to be getting too much to bring in, and for some, people are scared and nervous. Overwhelmed? What to do. When this happens, I always advise people to pull away from the news and social media, at least for a while. By doing so, you’re not pretending nothing is happening or choosing to ignore it! What you’re doing by pulling back is: you’re remembering who and what you are and acknowledging that you’re made of soul energy. You’re a soul that comes with a body … not a body that comes with a soul. You are a soul first, and stronger than you could ever imagine! And yes! One person can make a difference! When you want to pull back and experience the sensation of being with your soul, or when you feel that you need to slow the pace down when life gets chaotic, close your eyes, put your hands over your heart, breathe, and say to yourself: “Find your center.” By doing so, you’ll connect with your soul, where you’ll discover that you’re able to let go and relax into the present. Once you center yourself, you can send out that peaceful healing energy and thoughts to others. We often forget that we’re all made up of energy, and we’re…
William Keepin, Ph.D., the author of Belonging to God: Spirituality, Science & a Universal Path of Divine Love, is the co-founder of the Satyana Institute and the Gender Equity & Reconciliation International project. William Keepin has studied and practiced intensively in Eastern and Western spiritual disciplines for 35 years, immersing himself in contemplative practices from the Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, and Sufi traditions, and he trained with psychiatrist Stanislav Grof. His spiritual mentors include Father Thomas Keating (Christian), Swami Ambikananda (Hindu), Jestunma Tenzin Palmo (Buddhist), Llewellyn Vaughan Lee (Sufi), Ravi Ravindra (Hindu/interfaith) and Sr. Lucy Kurien (Christian). William Keepin is also a mathematical physicist, social activist, and environmental scientist whose research on sustainable energy and global warming influenced international environmental policy. He was a whistleblower in nuclear science policy and presented testimony to the US House of Representatives and the parliaments of Australia and several European countries. He holds a Ph.D. in applied mathematics, M.S. in mathematical physics, M.A. in East-West psychology, and an honorary doctorate in Spirituality and Social Change (from the California Institute of Integral Studies). William Keepin has over 40 scientific publications in peer-reviewed journals, and his books include: Divine Duality: The Power of Reconciliation between Women and Men (Hohm Press, 2007), co-author of Women Healing Women (Hohm Press, 2009), and co-editor of Song of the Earth: A Synthesis of the Scientific and Spiritual Worldviews (Permanent Publications, UK, 2012). In his most recent book, Belonging to God: Science, Spirituality, & a Universal Path of Divine Love (2016), William Keepin sought to recover the esoteric heart of spirituality, which has the potential to create peace and respect between religious traditions and between science and religion. Identifying the “path of divine love” as a kind of universal spirituality that leads to mystical emergence into the very essence of God, William…
Buried near the end of a Friday Politico article on Rep. Ilhan Omar and her polarizing impact on the Democratic party is a stunning comment by the Minnesota Democrat; former president Obama’s “hope and change” was nothing more than a mirage.
As she saw it, the party ostensibly committed to progressive values had become complicit in perpetuating the status quo. Omar says the “hope and change” offered by Barack Obama was a mirage. Recalling the “caging of kids” at the U.S.-Mexico border and the “droning of countries around the world” on Obama’s watch, she argues that the Democratic president operated within the same fundamentally broken framework as his Republican successor. –Politico
“We can’t be only upset with Trump. … His policies are bad, but many of the people who came before him also had really bad policies. They just were more polished than he was,” said Omar. “And that’s not what we should be looking for anymore. We don’t want anybody to get away with murder because they are polished. We want to recognize the actual policies that are behind the pretty face and the smile.”
Based on replies to a tweet by Politico Editor in Chief Blake Hounshell noting Omar’s comments on Obama, people agree:
Completely true. Thank god we’ve elected some Dems who actually have balls to say things. Funny enough they’re all women. Maybe we need to elect less men.
President Trump came under fire last May for a photograph of two migrant children sleeping in a cage at an ICE detention facility which went viral. After a laundry list of journalists and public figures angrily tweeted the photo – including CNN’s Hadas Gold, NYT Mag’s editor-in-chief Jake Silverstein, Obama speechwriter Jon Favreau and former LA mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, theydeleted their tweets in shame when it emerged that the photo was taken in 2014, under Obama.
I don’t know what’s worse… Obama’s speech writer self-owning himself by sharing an article dating back to 2014 under Obama or him deleting his tweet showing that he doesn’t actually care about the kids and just wanted to dunk on Trump pic.twitter.com/98SBJEXeot
The widespread abuse of children detained at the border under the Obama administration has been largely glossed over. As we reported last September, howeve, the University of Arizona and the ACLU did not let it go unnoticed.
One woman interviewed was detained for nearly a month in CADC while she was six months pregnant. She was shackled during transport to and from the facility. At the facility, she was denied monitoring or treatment for an ovarian cyst that posed a risk to herself and the fetus, and received no response to her requests for prenatal vitamins or extra padding for her bed.68 (Her case is described more fully in the box below.) Another woman interviewed was separated from her breastfeeding baby daughter, who was less than two months old, while she was detained in Eloy for two weeks. –University of Arizona
and
Among those findings are that women did not receive adequate medical or mental health care,were often mixed together with women serving criminal sentences, and were often transferred from faraway states. In most cases, researchers found that women were separated from at least one child. –ACLUAZ.org
The Politico interview comes one day after the House passed an anti-hate resolution which started out as a rebuke of Rep Omar over anti-Israel comments, and expanded to a general condemnation of ‘hate’ after the Democratic party became deeply divided over whether or not criticizing Israel is fair game.
The revamped measure passed overwhelming by 407-23, while nearly two dozen Republicans rejected it because it failed to specifically name Omar.
I’m having difficulty understanding detachment, specifically relating to my children. I want to rid myself of material and emotional attachments, but I have (as we all do) a deep bond and love for my children. I really want to understand.
