Your Experience Still Counts: Why People Ask You for Help

When somebody asks you for help, take a second and notice it.

They didn’t ask just anybody. They asked you.

Maybe it’s how to fix a leaky faucet. Maybe it’s how to read a contract, plan a garden, or calm down a fussy baby. Maybe it’s which form to fill out first.

They came to you because you know something. You learned it the long way. Years of doing it. Years of getting it wrong, then getting it right.

That still counts. It counts a lot.

A little bit about me

I spent more than 25 years in IT. I retired in 2023.

These days I do volunteer committee work. And somewhere along the way, I became the committee’s unofficial tech support. Showing folks how to share files in a shared OneDrive folder. Explaining the difference between “can edit” and “can view.”

Nobody gave me that job. People just started asking.

Here’s the thing. That’s not small stuff. When a group can share its files and get its work done, the work gets done. That’s what experience does. It quietly keeps things moving.

What the years give us

It’s easy to focus on what slows down as we get older. Most of us have walked into a room and forgotten why.

But the research tells another side of the story.

Harvard Health Publishing reports that older people tend to have better judgment and are better at making rational decisions. They are less likely to rush to judgment. Many people keep growing their vocabulary through middle age. And some everyday skills, like splitting a check, may come easier simply because of years of practice.

So when somebody asks you for help, they’re not doing you a favor. They’re tapping into something real.

Helping others is good for you, too

Here’s the part I like best.

Sharing what you know isn’t only good for the person you help. It may be good for you as well.

A study from researchers at Harvard followed about 13,000 older adults over several years. The people who volunteered at least about two hours a week (100 hours a year or more) reported:

• More purpose in life
• More happiness and optimism
• More contact with friends
• Less loneliness and fewer feelings of hopelessness
• More physical activity

They were also about 40% less likely to die during the four years the study followed them.

Now, let me state this plainly: this kind of study shows a link, not a guarantee. Volunteering is not a cure for anything. The researchers themselves say it’s hard to prove cause and effect for sure with this kind of study. But the pattern is worth noticing.

The National Institute on Aging (part of NIH) says much the same thing in simpler words. Taking part in activities you enjoy can help support healthy aging. Their own list of ideas includes teaching a favorite skill to a new generation, volunteering at a school or library, and joining a committee.

Hum! Sounds familiar.

How to put your experience to work

You don’t need a title. You don’t need a big plan. Start where you already are.

1. Notice what people ask you. For one week, keep track of every time someone comes to you with a question. That list is your experience, written down.
2. Say yes to the small asks. Showing a neighbor how to do one thing, one time, counts. It doesn’t have to be a big project.
3. Teach it, don’t just do it. If you fix it for them, they need you again next time. If you show them how, step by step, they own it. Go slow. Let them do the clicking or the turning or the measuring.
4. Be patient with the “dumb question.” There isn’t one. Somebody once answered our questions, too.
5. Start with a couple of hours a week. That’s about where the study above found a difference. A committee, a school, a library, a food bank, a senior center. Pick one.
6. Don’t sell yourself short. If you catch yourself saying, “Oh, it’s nothing, anybody could do that,” stop. Not anybody could. You could, because you put in the years.

The bottom line

Getting older doesn’t mean you have less to give. In a lot of ways, we have more.

The next time somebody asks you for help, don’t brush it off. Say yes. Show them how.

Your experience still counts. Somebody out there needs what you know.

If you want a little more on this, read Self-Confidence vs. Self-Esteem: Know the Difference (And Why It Matters) and Don’t Wait to Feel Confident: Why Confidence Comes After You Act.

Thanks,
Pablo

Sources: Harvard Health Publishing, “Older brains can be better, smarter brains” (2015); Kim ES, et al., “Volunteering and Subsequent Health and Well-Being in Older Adults”, American Journal of Preventive Medicine (2020); Harvard Human Flourishing Program, “Volunteering and Human Flourishing”; National Institute on Aging, “Participating in Activities You Enjoy As You Age”.

This article is for general education only. It is not medical advice. Talk to your doctor about your own health, including before starting new physical activities.