Month: May 2019

Question:

I am 31 years old. Married. My father has been an extremely successful person in his life, professionally and personally. I have a younger brother who to is heading in my father footsteps in his life and career which makes us all very happy and proud. My wife is an extremely talented, intelligent and hardworking woman who has her dreams and aims and which she is extremely capable of achieving. Among all this happy scenario, I am stuck in a life which seems to be going nowhere. Career wise I am going nowhere in spite of putting in my best efforts and success seems to be indifferent to me. I cant leave this job for certain reasons which are beyond my control for at least another 10 years. And by then I think it will all be too late for anything. What seems to be easy and ordinary for other people just doesn’t happen to me. all along in my conscious memory my life has been a string of failed attempts, so near yet never there episodes. I have repeatedly tried to put my failures aside
and work harder but still it has been for nothing. I am a believer but of late have started feeling that even God has turned a blind eye to my situation. I really feel desperate for some miracle to pull me out of this gloom but I don’t know whether that will ever happen. I feel my life is just running out without any purpose. I have tried taking solace in good books to find my answers but to no avail. I hate to be in this kind of melancholy but don’t know what to do. I feel that I am wasting my wife’s life too because of my situation. I am not sure if anyone will have any answers. What do you think? Is there hope?

When’s the last time you lost your anger at someone?

What did you say?

Often times when we argue with our loved ones, we are fuming, angry, and thinking the worst of them. Ugly words get exchanged, such as

You are being so unreasonable and selfish.

This is the THIRD time you are doing this.

Blah blah, blah blah.

$%^#!

But this behavior is the result of our adult egos and fears. Deep down, we love the other person. Deep down, our true nature is to be forgiving, open, free, and loving.

This sculpture at the Burning Man Festival 2015 captures just that. Created by Alexander Milov from Ukraine, this sculpture is titled “Love” and features two wire-frame adults after a fight, distanced and sitting with their backs facing each other. Inside them are two children standing and trying to reach each other.

(Image: Vitaliy Deynega)

Milov says this about his sculpture:

“It demonstrates a conflict between a man and a woman as well as the outer and inner expression of human nature. Their inner selves are executed in the form of transparent children, who are holding out their hands through the grating. As it’s getting dark (night falls) the children chart to shine. This shining is a symbol of purity and sincerity that brings people together and gives a chance of making up when the dark time arrives.”^[1]

More pictures of the amazing piece:

(Image: Vitaliy Deynega)

(Image: Alec Kondush)

(Image: Vitaliy Deynega)

(Image: thestevenjames)

We may be angry at someone, but deep down what we really want is to connect with the other person.

Some gentle reminders for all of us:

1. The next time you are angry with someone, focus on the loving spirit of your inner child. Remember that underneath your anger is love for the other person.
2. Don’t focus on attacking but on loving each other.
3. If there are volatile emotions brewing, give both of you some space to cool down.
4. Don’t snipe. Focus on the problem. How can you solve the problem that’s blocking both of you? Maybe he/she is not ready to deal with this but you can do something about it first. Likewise, sometimes you may not be ready to deal with the problem but the other person fills in for you for the time being.
5. When the dust has settled, reinforce your love for each other. Talk with a cooled head and figure out ways to solve the problem… together.

The forgiving, open and free nature of children is your true nature. Inside each angry person is a hurt child trying to connect. Remember that the next time you feel stubborn. 🙂

Share this post with your partner to let him/her know you care. 🙂 Read as well:

• How Anger Affects the Brain and Body [Infographic]
• How to Let Go of Anger (series)

The post This Powerful Sculpture Shows the Inner Child In Us appeared first on Personal Excellence.