I’m a 35 year old woman who was briefly married to someone who was both physically and mentally abusive. I also grew up in an abusive home where there were interventions by police and child services, but no real help given to me. My years before age 18 were a nightmare. Since 18 and especially since my divorce, I’ve had extensive counseling and made good progress. I’m considered attractive and make a good salary as a professional but I’m finding it very hard to meet someone despite trying singles’ events, online dating, etc. I have been trying to stay positive that I will meet someone and have the children I’ve dreamed of, but sometimes I feel sheer grief at being alone at my age, having spent most of my life since 18, alone. I also feel panic at the thought that my window of opportunity to have children is slowly but surely closing. My biological clock is ticking loudly. I do affirmations every day, but feelings of grief and fear still hit me during the week. I feel like I’ve been “left behind.” What can I do to attract a positive, healthy relationship? It often feels like life has been unfairly cruel to me. I’m really struggling with this.
I just sent you an email but wanted to mention everything I’ve been trying for the past 3 years to help my situation: regular meditation during the week, affirmations, visualization, energy healing, hypnotherapy, journaling, reading your books and other spiritual/self-help books on a regular basis, and praying every day. I do yoga about once a week and try to spend time in nature. I also exercise 4-5 times a week and I’m always out and about visiting friends, going to social events, etc.
Nothing has helped me in my search for a life partner. I even tried doing nothing for almost a year, (letting go) and… nothing happened. Even more discouraging, I have no children and my marriage was short, yet I have friends who left long-term marriages with kids and they’ve found serious relationships while I’m still alone. Is this an energy block? What can I do? People tell me I’m a beautiful, amazing person but I still can’t find a life partner. It makes no sense to me.